So, this is the first of hopefully many Monday Musings.
For me, I guess it's just a place where I can just reflect on what the heck is going on in my life AT THIS MOMENT.
We spend a lot of time thinking of what our past WAS and what we want out future to look like, that we miss what is happening now. That's all there is.
The future is in our minds and for all we know, that is all that it is.
I struggle with that concept really. I thought I had it all planned out...not just with my ex, but dating back to my first boyfriend in grade school...we would live this perfect life.
I was right about one thing; I do live a perfect life for sure. It's perfect for me. God put me here in this moment to live in THIS moment...that is perfect for me!
I, for once in my life, am relishing my singleness. I am enjoying all of the wonderful things about it. I have spent too long wanting and craving and lusting after a life that was not mine.
Talk about wasted time!
I recently started dating someone.
He has pursued me for the past 6 months and I have blown him off and blown him off, countless times over the past 6 months. Finally, he wrote me a text that really made me second guess blowing him off.
I was honest about my past relationship and where I was emotionally.
He said he was fine with that.
We talked and chatted and met up right before I left for vacation.
I liked the thrill of it to be honest with you.
It was fun talking and getting to know someone new and we really do get along a lot and he makes me laugh and he is very smart.
When I came back from vacation, we started seeing each other a lot. We went on a double date on Friday night and had a blast.
The problem is that I wasn't attracted to him. I am not attracted to him. He is an attractive guy, but just no sparks on my end and oh how I wish there would be.
I would find myself dodging his attempts to kiss me and everything. Last night as we were out to dinner, we opened up a lot and he basically has never had a girlfriend for more than a couple of months and now that he has me, he is not going to look any further.
I freaked out inside.
He started talking about where "our kids" would go to school...
At this point I was hearing alarms.
Today I have to put it out there to him.
We just want different things. I want to date and not be exclusive with anyone until I find the right person for me.
It is going to go something like this:
Hey (fill in his name). I need to talk to you about something. I was sitting with what we talked about last night and when you mentioned that you don't want to date anyone else and it got me thinking and I want to be clear. I am not looking to be exclusive right now as I am still getting over a 7 year relationship. I am no where near ready to be in a committed relationship right now. I don't think we are in the same place. I really enjoy hanging out with you and getting to know you, but I just want to be clear of where I am right now.
Yeah...I think it is going to go over like a ton of bricks.
Have you guys had any stories of breaking it to a man gently?
Any tips?
Going forward I am going to use the Linky tool to link up...but for now, just use comments!
